Chainsaw's Inspiration or Madness?

To give you the full experience...

They call him chainsaw

On the way to work, there is this bit of curvy road that winds down and across the Forss River.  It is here that a place called Forss Cottage sits.  This place is very distracting because not only is it a tricky bit of road, but there is always something unusual to see.

A guy everyone calls Chainsaw lives at Forss cottage and as far as I can tell, all he does is carve wood with his chainsaw.  When you get used to his style, you realize the entire wooded area is filled with his sculptures.

Notice the hoist for large items

He also moves them around and you can sometimes see them on the other side of the road - again not good for your driving concentration.  

He seems to like to move the couple having intimate relations on a snowboard the most - you never know what tree it will be hanging from.

Hmm...

On some very rare occasions, it is completely obvious what it is that he's carved.

I love her flares

On other occasions, you have to use your imagination. 

I think Chainsaw lives alone

The other week the local paper did a piece on Chainsaw. Apparently, he is working on a chess set with human sized pieces.  The journalist asked Chainsaw why are you doing it and Chainsaw said because I can.

Badger takes one for the team

A crisp and gorgeous Sunday.  I decided to take myself and the dogs to St. Mary's Chapel, which is a 12th century ruin just beyond Forss on the sea.

I have hiked part of the way there when I way staying at Forss, but it started to get dark and rain, and I didn't make it all of the way.  

After hoisting Badger into the car, we set off.  We parked in the parking area. There was a big sign that pointed the way and asked you to keep your dogs on lead - this would seem to indicate that dogs were welcome - right?

We went up the hill and down the hill and then crossed the river and went back up the hill.  It was here that we encountered a small problem. 

You see there was this fence walkover.  Usually, these gates have an alternative for dogs or the bottom rail is missing so they can walk under, but this was not the case.  We stood and pondered this fence for a while and then I stepped over on the steps.  

Maggie stepped onto the bottom step and was confused and upset to be separated, so I lifted her over.  I tried to get Badger to help out - but he really wouldn't.

At this point, a normal person would have lifted their smaller dog back over the fence and gone home.  I am not a normal person, so I proceeded to hoist Badger over the fence.  

I got tired part way through and had to rest him on the top bar.  This upset him, and he kicked me in the groin and scrapped over the fence, landing in heap.  I felt sort of sick, but then he hopped up and started acting crazy, so I figured everything was normal.

St. Mary's Chapel

We continued onto the chapel. It was unique.  I would say the entire thing had been enclosed with a fence - no gate, just stones to walk over, and the chapel itself had two chambers connected by little munchkin doors - Badger loved the doors.  

Love this

We read the tombstones and just relaxed.  One was for a 9 year old girl that died in 1872, but it also commemorated 4 other relations.  Two who drowned in 1896 at 30 and 11 years old. And two who drowned in 1907 at 66 and 40 years old - a father and son.  There more room on the stone.

We watched the waves a while and then we headed back, all the while dreading The Fence.  As I approached the fence, I noticed this big white fluff on it - go ahead, go back and look at the picture, you'll be able to see it.  

I got a closer look and realized this was Badger's fur.  So, I looked down at him and realized he was missing a huge strip of fur and some skin from his knee to his ankle.  Now I did feel sick.

I lifted Mag's over and then Badger.  My back was starting to tighten up.  We went down the hill, across the river and up the hill.  Dogs wanted to play in the river, but I didn't let them because Badger has a big gash in his leg. I felt horrible!

We get to the car, and I open the back and guess what happens...Badger leaps into the back.

Sunday Morning Service at St. Mary's

I got a heifer for my birthday!!

Some may be puzzled - birthday...heifer, but it's all true, I got a heifer on my birthday - well, I got a heifer on David's birthday.  Oh, where do I begin.

You see my oldest brother could never remember my birthday.  David would remind him, mom would remind him and his lovely wife would remind him, but he just couldn't remember.  So a couple of years ago, he decided we would all celebrate our birthdays on Halloween because that was easy to remember and oh by the way, it was David's birthday.

Now, there is lots of irony associated with this because David being a middle child never really had anything for his own - he says - but his birthday, well that was his alone, but not any more.  Middle children feel free to stop and shake your head in disgust.

So for the last couple of years - birthday cards and presents have come for me twice, on my actual birthday and on David's, which we call my unbirthday.  

This is a great system...for Doug and I.

Yesterday, I came home, and there was a box on my kitchen table - where the postman leaves my packages.  I tore it open, and there were all sorts of goodies in it.

When I opened up an envelope, I found the picture and certificate of registration for my heifer.

Isn't she gorgeous!?!

Her name is CHF Dream Girl, and she is an American Simmental.

Now the proprietor of the Poison Oak Ranch swears the drawing for heifers for his children was completely random, but let's face it, mine must be the best and I am thrilled.  

Every girl needs her own heifer.

FYI: I think someone needs to spray her for flies...please

Off to France?

Jason and I have been working with this French company.  They had trekked to Scotland to look at the Site, and it was our turn to return the favor.

I was looking forward to it. I'd made the travel arrangements.  It was not easy to get there; it was going to take two flights, a two hour train trip and then an hour drive.  

We started our trip in Wick.  My heart sank just a bit when I got closer to Wick and there was fog, but by the time I got to airport, it was lifting and I was optimistic.

When I checked in, I was told the flight was late.  Although the fog had lifted in Wick our alternate landing locations were fogged in - it was a safety issue.  This seemed quite odd to me because if you look on the map the flight from Aberdeen to Wick is over the water and takes about 20 minutes.  If there is an issue, wouldn't you just return to Wick or on to Aberdeen - in an emergency, aren't those the closest landing spots...bar the ocean?

But wait we did, they gave us a voucher and we had more tea and bacon sandwiches.  It was very pleasant.  

An hour and a half later we got to Aberdeen.  Our flight to Paris was gone.  We went through a very crowded airport and found out that there was another flight at 1700, they changed us over with no hassle - a miracle considering we were flying on two different tickets and the fault was on us.  

We had to wait 2 hours before we could collect our boarding passes so we sat in the bar and ate onion rings and drank beer - seriously, not bad duty.

When we got our ticket, we found out the flight to Paris was delayed because the plane from Paris had to return due to a technical fault.  We went through security and sat in another bar - we ate candy for a while.

Jason changed our train tickets based on when we thought we were going to land. A further delay and another voucher - omelets and wine were ordered.  Jason read; I played Sudoku.  Jason says to me - why are you smiling - I feeling a bit exposed caught in my own world - start to tell him a fib and then admit, I'm just happy.  

We agreed that at 1900 we would start to make some decisions.  I checked and verified that we could no longer get a train to Lyon tonight and that the hotels at the Charles de Gaulle were full for the night - our options are whittling away.  

So I went back to the ticket counter and asked the other airline if we could catch the last flight back to Wick - they were very nice and said sure no problem - it's delayed you know.

Back through security, I send Jason to collect his boarding pass, and we watch the monitors.  All of a sudden, the Paris flight and the Wick flight are boarding.

We scurry down to the gate and board the plane.   

Twenty minutes later, we are back where we started. 

Twelve hours invested, and we didn't even manage to get out of Scotland.