hiking, seaweed, yoga and hunger

Gill and I are in Spain for our retreat with a special anti-ageing theme.  I had signed up for this months ago as it was something I wanted to do last year, but just couldn't fit it in.  A couple of weeks ago - even though Ms G thought it was totally 'self-indulgent,' Gill also signed up.

We will be here a week and have a fairly packed program.  Last night, we got our orientation and our gift bag, which had 2 lemons, a piece of ginger, some bath gel and some conditioner in it.  Then they went through the program for the week and talked about the food.  There would be no sugar, flour, carbs (except for fruit and you could only eat that until 2), red meat, dairy, caffeine and alcohol.

I do wonder what else might be out there to consume, and I am now wishing I also brought a wheel of cheese with my wine and green tea.

After orientation, we went to dinner and everyone seemed a little nervous.  We were given the best Spanish bean soup, which would have been incredible with a piece of buttered crusty bread.  For our main, we had grilled chicken and vegetable stir fry.  Our table got served first and we got the extra stir fry, which was very good.  No dessert.

Gill and I sat around her apartment - we each had these luxury apartment and had a good catch up before I headed off to bed and slept 10 hours, missing breakfast.  I text Gill to explain I had overslept and she saved my breakfast.  This turned out to be very difficult because everyone wanted to eat it.  It was some kind of puffed cereal and I liked it with soy milk and a banana.  Gill got me a whole banana, and this was also a big deal - I started thinking this might be an interesting social experiment. 

We did a walk to Calpo rock that was left from ancient landslide.  It was an easy coastal walk and was very pleasant.  Two of the group of 15 were given nuts for a snack. The rest of us were not, and we thought this was very strange - social experiment?

The walk was about 7 miles round trip and we stopped on the other side of the rock and had lunch, which had been packed for us.  Is was a strange lettuce, carrot, pepper, kiwi mix without dressing with a piece of frittata on it.  It was okay, but needed seasoning.  I started worrying that they might not be salting my food and after a few days in the heat that would not be good for me.

As we walked along the beach, we saw some incredible sand art.  The heat definitely got to a few of the group but this didn't stop them from laying in the sun when we returned. I swear the Brits are just crazy when they see the sun.

The group is quite interesting and many seem to be at a crossroads.  I would say in general they are all a bit nervous and need to understand completely what is going to happen next.  Even when they are clearly told what happens next, they don't really hear it and instead assume it is something that will scare them.

I spent the heat of the sun inside reading and blogging while Gill fried herself outside. I went and woke her up at 4 and then headed off to my beauty treatment given to me by a Russian that spoke little English.  First, she scrubbed me down in the shower and then she slather me with this really stinky seaweed sludge then she wrapped me up and gave me a facial massage.  After about 30 minutes, I was supposed to rinse off.  It was totally shocking how much of this stuff I had on me.  I like needed a squeegee because the shower wouldn't take it off.  Once I was fairly certain I was clean, I got slathered in moisturiser and sent off to yoga.

Yoga was run by one of the organizers, and it was good.  Lots of breathing and holding poses for a really long time - my body hated it. 

Dinner was good we had hake, sweet potato, green beans and roasted tomato for our   main and orange spiced lentils to start.  I could have had seconds of everything and it was not the only one because there had been 8 hours between lunch and dinner.  We got lectured by our yoga instructor on how this was all perfectly fine, and it was just in our heads.  Then she went off to see the other organizer and tell her she must not let us eat our fruit (the one piece we are given) after breakfast.

We closed our first full day with a lecture from a nutritionist, who used to be quite heavy and then 10 years ago totally changed her life and became super healthy, and a bit evangelical.  She basically told us we were doomed if we eat anything that tastes good, except for vegetable.  The good news is I quite like vegetable.

He ate lunch with Gill and I.  I gave him a piece of my orange.  Everyone was amazed that I'd shared my rations with a bird.  Watching a juvenile seagull eat an orange slice is totally worth it.

the Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain

Thursday after work, I drove down to Inverness and after a haircut and Mac

Donald's hamburger - seriously mom, I got on the sleeper train.  Everything was exactly the same except the lounge was a little bit nicer.  I didn't sleep as well as last time, but I did sleep and the bed was perfectly comfortable; it was maybe a bit warm in my room.

I woke up at 5 and got dressed and fed and then went to sit in the lounge - it was then that I noticed we were not moving.  I know this might be strange, but the train does start and stop quite a bit and pull off onto other tracks to let trains pass, but I really hadn't noticed that we were not moving.  Turns out, there had been a fatality on the tracks ahead, and there was no indication when it would be cleared.

I had intentionally taken the train because it doesn't let pesky things like fog get in the way, and I was sure to make my connection - right!?!  The train porter was perhaps too helpful and was providing constant updates that got worse and worse.  Finally, we got going again and eventually arrived at Euston station in London, from there I took the tube to Victoria station to catch the Gatwick Express.  I just missed the next train because the people using the ticket machine treated the machine like they were programming a warhead. I found this frustrating.

Wait, wait, and finally another train comes, they are running 30 minutes behind schedule. I get to Gatwick, and it is a complete madhouse.  There are hundreds of people dragging around too much luggage and screaming children.  I join a queue of 300 to 400 people to drop my bags; EasyJet puts all their flights at one desk.  

Ages later, I dropped my bag and then performed the same act to get through security.  Once on the other side, I purchased some wine - as I would need contraband on this trip...more on that later.

Then I went and inhaled a piece of sausage pizza that was dripping with oil and cheese, and contained carbohydrates - the dreaded and delicious white flour...again will make sense later.

The plane was late arriving and this caused everyone's behaviour to drop a notch, which I really did not think was possible.  When I got to my seat, there was someone in it.  When I said, you are in my seat - they laughed and said oh yeah, there is a problem.  

A flight attendant asks me to take a different seat, which I do.  Then two girls come and say they have the inside seats, I move aside to let them in and they say that is our mother's seat, as I open my mouth to explain there has been a seating issue one of the girls says, sit down mother and do not look at her, and she does.  All of my stuff is now here while they reseat me twice more.  

The journey is uneventful and mortifying as the drunks get drunker and laugh and cackle at the inappropriate things coming out of their mouths.  But soon we land in Alcante.  

As I am collecting my bags, I see mother and 2 daughters from SeatGate.  I look at how they are dressed and think hmm.  I call my ride and let him know I am late and he says no problem, there are 4 of you on this flight and we'll wait.  I realize that these 3 ladies are off to the same place I am, and we'll be spending the next 7 days hiking, doing yoga and pilates and generally hearing about how to look and feel our best.  Too bad there isn't a session on how not to be a rude cow.

I was right as Nigel our driver collected us and the others that had been waiting and drove us an hour and a half to our beautiful resort.  We had several discussions with the staff and organizers on the rules and as I was getting frog marched around on my orientation, I saw this gorgeous giggling redhead and I realised all was right with the world because there was Gill.

multitasking

Come on, we all do it.  Even though everything you read says it doesn't work, we still try and read emails, talk on the phone and file our nails.  

My dog walker is on holiday, so the pressure has been on.  We have gone for walks at strange times of the day, but manage to get it fit in.  Yesterday, we went to the beach in the morning.  

There was the usual jumping up and down and the strong whine from Thatcher.  

Maggie got so excited, she had to poop, which is unfortunate because there is almost nothing better than pooping outside your yard...so they tell me.  

As Thatcher and I were waiting, I put on the lead.  This made Maggie very nervous and she started sprinting across the yard, all the while she was shooting turds out of her butt.

Now that is multitasking.

Perspective

When I walk outside on a Monday morning and find a dying bird laying on the doorstep, I am upset and think how awful, poor bird, what a sad way to start the day/week.

When Maggie walks outside on a Monday morning and find a dying bird laying on the doorstep, she thinks this is awesome, this thing smells, hahahahahahahahaha. Until it is ruined by her master say, Drop It!!

We performed a small but respectful burial at the grey bin.

Blog Art/Love Arrives from Idaho

I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT

They call her Busy Lizzie

This week I went to London to visit a project called the Lee Tunnel.  The project is associated with the upgrades to the wastewater system in London.  Wastewater = sewage

You may not know this, but the wastewater system in London is Victorian age and overflows into the river Thames 50+ times per year.  As a result, there is a big construction project to build a system to handle the overflow. 

The new system consists of shafts and tunnels that will redirect, slow down and hold an overflow, but an overflow will still happen on occasion, 3-4 times per year.  Lee tunnel is one of a series of systems that are planned.

We were going down to look at a safety program they had implemented, but I was very excited about seeing the project in general, and it did not disappoint.  After spending the morning talking safety, we got all dressed up to enter the tunnel.

We also got our safety training on our rebreather, which is a pack you must carry around your neck, and in the event that there is an event in the tunnel that compromises the air system, you put it on and it converts your exhalation into air you can breath - unfortunately, it often makes you sick.  It last 30 minutes if you are freaking out and 3 hours if you are not freaking out.

Dressed up, we go to the shaft and head 80 meters down to the bottom. 

The stacked crescents are 7 ton concrete lining sections

In addition to digging the tunnel, it also must be lined with a concrete liner. The logistics are AMAZING.  It was a hive of activity even though there is a safety limit on how many people can be in the tunnel - can't be more than 30 - it definitely seemed like more.

Big yellow pipe is air - the other pipes manage slurry

At the bottom, we get in a little 'train' and get transported 3 kilometers into the earth, which is about 25% of the full distance that will ultimately be required.  This is how the guys get out to the drill every day, and it is covered with white chalk.

In the train - Speedy is my rebreather

Looking out the front on the way in

I was sitting in the back, but one of the guys noticed me craning my neck to look out the window and so he came and got me and gave me his seat looking out the window.  They built all of this tunnel.  The longer the ride was every morning the more tangible the result of their effort.

For the record, I am not sure they have EVER had 3 women in the tunnel at one time.  There are no women on the tunneling crew, except for...

At the face, there is the control room, the equipment and system for installing the liner and of course, there was Busy Lizzie.  Lizzie is the specialty German built drill that is making this hole.  This is the only job she will ever do - job done, she'll return to Germany and be taken apart.  

At the construction end of the tunnel - Lizzie is on the other side of all of the equipment

Once installed, you really can't see Lizzie.  She does her work without being seen - so like a woman.  I think the guys would says she may not be seen, but she requires a lot of maintenance, attention, and care - so like a woman.  

Just so you know, I thought the day was completely spectacular.

bean bag chairs, a tram with a side of lard

So I go back to my new hotel and lay down and blog for a while.  The walls are so thin that when the guy next door sneezes, I actually think he is in the room for a minute. Then I notice some noise in the hall and I am thinking - great!  I go into the hall and realise that they have put me on the same floor as a soccer team who are running up and down the hall before heading to the bar.

It is pouring down rain now and so I venture out to find the place for dinner.  I stop in a place I think it is, and then I realise it isn't - after I purchased a glass of wine.  So I go back into the rain and eventually find the place; it's Italian.  The dinner was a bit odd as things are when you all don't know one another and the people that set the whole thing up haven't showed due to travel issues.  Four hours later, we had all eaten - nothing spectacular, I was just glad I hadn't ordered the steak because it was grey.

Back at the hotel, I fall asleep with the fear that I might not get to eat in Polish food while I am in Poland.  The meeting the next day was good and challenging.  The office is impossibly cool in a mall with a center atrium filled with plants and multicoloured bean bag chairs.  

They feed us Pizza Hut pizza and Kentucky Fried Chicken French fries for lunch.  I almost cried, but I was hungry.  After an all hands meting with the office - where the average age is 24 - we are given 10 minutes to go back to the hotel and change.

The evening started by asking the tram to make a loop around the city because 10 minutes wasn't enough for us.  Then we got on this very cool, very old tram and we trundled around the city, drinking beer, laughing and listening to the wonderful lady tell us all about Krakow.

One of our team had missed the tram, so we stopped and waited for him at two stops while the incredible lady in rapid fire Polish tried to tell the taxi driver how to meet up with us.  Each time we had to move because it's like a one way system, and we were in the way.  At the end of the ride, we had a contest on Krakow history and everyone in my booth won, while the other booths were shouting stop giving them the answers.

After the tram ride, we went to dinner at place in the old ghetto - where the Jews were kept; the place was called Fire and Sword - in Polish.  This place was cool and old worldy.  We didn't have to order and instead we just sat at long wooden benches and watched what happened next.  The first thing to happen was a platter of bread.  The bread was a traditional Polish starter slathered with lard and bits.  I managed to eat the one with the flabby fatty bacon, but I couldn't do the one that looked like it had gummy bears on it. It tasted good but the texture made me want to hurl.

Shots came and went.  I tasted them and then poured them into someone else's glass while they were looking the other way and then waited for the rest of the table to start harassing him about not drinking his drink.  This is one of my favourite work night games.

Then came the meat.  There were ribs and a giant clod of crispy skin coated fat; I liked this very much.  There was also some meat that was called duck, but the fat was in the wrong place to be duck.  There were periogies - meat and cheese.  I ate like 8 of these, maybe more than 8.

There were giant baked potatoes and other meat things that I thought were the same of what I had already eaten, but then turned out to be something else all together.  I ate all of this until I was feeling very greasy, but happy greasy.

Desserts was 'apple pie' that didn't look like apple pie. When it showed up with chocolate all over it I asked if I could have one without chocolate and I was told...No.  We walked back to the hotel along the river, while a smaller group headed off to the square to get in trouble.

The next day we finished up our meeting and assigned actions.  I 'left' at 1330 and headed over to a cool hotel/spa and had a great facial and some fresh squeezed juice.  My driver then took me to the airport where I have sailed through the process and spent my last 10 zloty on tyskie, so I could finish my last Polish blog.

Church time

After my organic coffee and date, poppy seed, orange cake, I headed off to do 2 churches.  The first was St. Francis Basilica, which is a gothic church and was Pope John Paul's church when he was the archbishop.  

It is so difficult to put into words what this place is like. There was a fire in the 1850s, so the church had to be redecorated.  These two Polish artists went after it, and it was a bit Diego Rivera and a bit Georgia O'Keefe, but is was completely beautiful and colourful.  There were simple patterns like hearts or big flowers that were repeated over and over with stained glass to match. I know this isn't the best picture, but it was no flash and gothic...aka dark.

After St. Francis, I went to St. Mary's Church.  The first church in this spot was in the 1200, but it was flattened by the Tater's.   It shares one of it towers with the townhall where the hejnal - hey now - is performed. They use the tallest tower and open one of the window on the top to do their performance.

 

Inside St. Mary's, there is an amazing wooden altarpiece created by a German called Veit Stoss.  It took him 12 years to complete, and he finished in 1489.  It is made out of oak and linden wood, and the average figure is just under 3 meters. 

I know, like wow, right?!?

I headed back to my new hotel for a bit of a rest.  Tonight, I am meeting the polish office for dinner.  The restaurant is in the Jewish quarter - I have high hopes.  I am a bit sad that the rain and humidity have given me a big blonde Afro, but what can you do.

Poland's Westminster Abbey

I wake up to pouring rain.  I had Gill check the weather the night before and try as I might, I could not get her to say it was going to be bright and sunny.  I head downstairs for breakfast in the cellar.  Everything was much the same, but once again I passed on the scrambled eggs.

After checking out, I took a taxi to my hotel for the next 2 nights - it's a business hotel on the other side of the Jewish district.  By the time I check my bags, the rain has stopped; it's a bit misty, but not too serious.  

I head off to Wawel Castle grounds and cathedral.  I do the full cathedral tour, complete with audioguide.

I loved the cathedral inside and out.  On the outside, it looks like a whimsical jumble, but on the inside, it is like it was all planned; you'll have to take my word for it as no photos inside.  

As part of the tour, you get to climb up the bell tower.  The steps are all wooden with several tight squeezes thought the joists - my brothers would love this place.  The wooden banister was completely smooth; it was amazing feeling under your hand.

It's the biggest bell in the country, takes 12 men to ring and is only rung on special occasions.  It is over 100 kg heavier in the spring due to the humidity.  Fighting my way under the bell, I go to the window for a look across Krakow.  

The green belt around the city used to be the moat, but the whole thing was a mess so they filled it in and created a round park called the Planty.  The twin tower is St. Mary's church and the spot of the bugling - Hey Now.

After the cathedral, the bell tower, and crypt, I went through the museum, and this was pretty much dedicated to John Paul.  Some of the vestments were unbelievable. I had no idea you could do with embroidery. 

Wawel castle also has this very interesting 'secret.'   If you assume the earth is a body and you lay out the chakras, one of those chakras is in the inner courtyard of the Wawel castle.  Apparently, this is not something they are happy about, and the tourguides are forbidden to discuss it.  

They have tried to make it difficult to access this area by putting a sign and rope in the area with the greatest power.  I go into the inner courtyard and immediately notice the spot - it's like it called me.  

There was lady standing there, pressed against the wall - which is discoloured from people pressing their body against the wall.  As I was absorbing the experience, a guy came and settled his bags in a certain order and then also took his place.

I felt like I had done Wawel castle and cathedral so I headed off in search of a coffee shop.  As I was headed down the hill, a big group of Hindu were on their way up and this made me smile.

Shinglers List, Modern art and a side of tacos

First full day in Krakow, after 9 hours of sleep and an hour of yoga, I headed downstairs for breakfast in the cellar - will try and get a picture tomorrow as the room is very cool.  

My guidebook said the typical Polish breakfast is coffee and a cigarette, so wasn't sure what to expect.  It was breads, cheeses - lots of cheese, sliced meats, hard boiled eggs, fruit, and yogurt. I was offered scrambled eggs, but I had just dropped a big piece of cheese of the floor and was discretely sliding it under the tablecloth, so I said no thank you.

After breakfast, I headed off to Oscar Shindler's factory and arrived about 3 minutes before it opened.  There was this really obnoxious deaf tour group in front of me, that clearly didn't like one another as they kept flailing their arms around at each other in gestures that really needed no interpretation.  So I skipped the first few rooms and then I was on my own.

It's an incredible museum that tells the whole story of the war in Krakow.  The exhibits are expertly done and combine sounds and textures to tell the story.  For example the last room had a soft sponge rubber floor.  I stepped in and then stepped out; it made me uncomfortable.  The exhibits in the room were in small boxes and they were personal items of people that didn't make it through the war... a toy horse, a lace fan, and pair of spectacles.  

Without being too heavy, Krakow has been through a lot.  Before the war, a quarter of the population, 65,000 people, were Jewish; after the war, only a few thousand survived and only 200 live here today.  After the war, they were ruled by Russia.  This beautiful city was not appreciated because they weren't allowed to congregate and should be at home resting because a rested worker, works harder.  

They are crazy religious - which I guess makes sense given their history. I read this great story about a man recollecting Christmas during communism and how they were the best memories he had because everyone had time for one another and things were truly special - like the oranges from Cuba.  It does make you think.

It was a great museum, a gift I will not forget.

After this, I went to the modern art museum that was right next door.  There was some really wonderful and really awful art in here.  The video art rarely appeals to me, and this was no exception.  

There was a noose made out of dollars bills and a very tall slim cylinder made out of dollar bills, both of these cast a long shadow...get it?!?

I had a small rest and a piece of 'apple pie.' It was really dry, in a good way. 

I blogged a bit and admired the sunshine - the difference from yesterday was fairly shocking.  On the way back to the hotel, I wandered through the Jewish quarter and into the oldest cemetery and synagogue.  

Many of the Jewish building were desecrated during the war, and this was no different.  The cemetery has been rebuilt, so it is really not a cemetery, but a representation of a cemetery. The headstone bits that were too small were used to make a wall.

I dropped off my parcels and rested my feet before heading toward the square.  I heard the Hey Now, which is not how it is spelled, but it is how it is said and it's a bugler that plays a partial song every hour and on the hour from the tower.  

These guys are actually firemen first and buglers second.  They work a 24 hour shift every 3 days and pull fire watch and bugle duty.  They cut the song off in the middle because the legend says a bugler was shot in the neck by the Taters - the Taters did lots of bad thing to Krakow  - and so now they do that every time, but the other part of the legend is that a journalist - spit on the floor - made this story up.

I wander outside of the square in search of a family of real Mexicans that had opened a restaurant.  I had an early dinner of pork tacos, and they were worth every bite.  I spent the rest of the evening watching the sun go down and families, lovers, and friends walk by me.  

There was even a sing along where the police handed out the song books!  It was a very good day to be in Krakow.

Krakow (KROCK - oof)

Lufthansa is a hot mess.  Eventually managed to print out my boarding pass before leaving the hotel for the airport.  After a bacon roll and americano, the check in desk is open.  I join the line, which is very long considering the check in had just opened. 75 minutes later I dropped my bags - the line was really no shorter behind me and the gal taking my bag said we should maybe tell someone.  You think?

I go to security and after 30 minutes I am through - it was a mess.  We board immediately, and I imagine a few people didn't make the flight.  Once in the air, there is a really long announcement in German and English. I hear something about bags, weight, change in runway then Frankfurt.  The very enthusiast German next to me got the flight attendant to tell her the whole story.  Seems winds had shifted and they had to use a different runway meaning they had to reduce weight and had done that by removing bags.  They 'tried' to only remove the bags of people that did not have connections...with Lufthansa.

In Frankfurt and late, we are told to go immediately to our gates, which required going through security, several flights of stairs then through immigration where the jerk threw my passport back at me - like it was dirty of something.

Long walk and I eventually arrive at my gate just as boarding has started.  On I go, sitting next to a young Canadian girl on her way to Krakow for a volleyball competition.  The plane was full of them having flown from Vancouver to New York with a 4 hour wait from New York to Frankfurt with a 4 hour wait and then a 4 hour wait to Krakow. She immediately fell asleep; it was one of the fathers sitting across the aisle from me that told this whole story.  It seemed as if all the girls brought their fathers, and I thought this was sort of cool.

In Krakow, I wait for my bag - will it come, will it - long long wait and then finally there it was.  I had to hunt around for a cash machine that was in operation and armed with Zloty, I got a cab to my hotel called the Pugatow.  Cab driver tried to drop me at the wrong place, but we finally worked it out, and I was here.  24 hours ago I had some doubts that this would happen.

Hotel is impossible cute.  My room is teeny tiny, but in a good way.  

It is pouring  down rain.  So I just creep around the corner to Il Calzone.  It is well off the road and filled with polish people.  It was Italian and I had asparagus (white) in a cream sauce and a fresh squid ink pasta with red sauce.  It could have used a chili pepper, but it was good, and I was very hungry.

Filled up, I headed back to the hotel and crawled into my tiny bed and slept, dreaming of breakfast in the cellar...

trials in transportation

Days 3 and 4 of the home vacation were a bit of a wobble.  I had to stay in town on day 3 because I had an asthma assessment that had been rescheduled 3 times.  There was this insistence  that it was very important for my care.  So I go in and 5 minutes later I am out.  There were some inane questions, a bit of work on the peak flow meter and then a realisation that I didn't need any help managing my asthma - oh right, she says...

Day 4 I had this master plan of going to Stromness in Orkney.  I have only really gone through there and it's supposed to have a good museum.  During the week, you can take a ferry in the morning and be back by 1830, perfect!  So I checked the weather again on Monday night and bought a ticket for the 0845 ferry from Scrabster.  I just had to decide whether I was going to take my bike with me or just walk around.

Good morning, got my things together and decided I would not take my bike.  I drove over to Scrabster and checked in at 0825.  There was some confusion and rustling of paper and then she said, I am afraid you've missed it.  I said but it's right there.  Yes, but they have shut the door.  But she calls and has a long conversation; there is recognition that they were expecting me - like I had a reservation. After about 5 minutes, she says sorry, you've missed.  

I was home and had written an e-mail of complaint before they'd pulled out of dock.  So I was a bit annoyed.  I had done all my chores the day before, as you do.  So I leashed up the dogs and took them for a long walk.  I took them down to the river.  We hadn't been there in a while.  At the end of the path, I let them loose and they raced around like crazy dogs.  As Thatcher was mid-leap over the river, I shouted, you can't swim!  He looked back at me in horror as he splashed down.  It was a bit of a cartoon moment.

I had a short but packed week at work and then at the end of the day Friday took the flight to Aberdeen.  Flights was completely uneventful with great weather and we took off 10 minutes early.  Checked into my hotel and then went to print out my boarding passes for tomorrow's trip to Krakow.

I was having some trouble checking in.  I tried over and over and then I looked up the ticket number versus the booking number on my blackberry.  As I was doing this, I noticed that my last name seemed to be missing from the reservation and instead it had my first name and my middle name as a last name - not a bad name by the way.  So I put this into the check in and viola it worked.  My heart sank.

So after a few texts to Gill I worked up the nerve to call Lufthansa.  The gal that answered was a bit mewly. I tell her what I have done and she says I have to buy another ticket.  Do I want to know how much it will be? Hold please - I am paying 0.10 a minute in addition to my regular service charge for this call.  She comes back and says she can't sell me a ticket because the flight is sold out. But I have a seat I say. If you hold, I will ask my supervisor for an exception.

Long wait.

Back she comes and say she can sell me another ticket and it will be £660. I say what about the £400 ticket I already have.  Oh we can help you with that and give you a credit of £37.  Do you want a ticket - I guess so I say. Clickety clack - can't take any of the information for my existing reservation.  There you go she says it is all done, do you have any questions?

Nothing you would be willing or able to answer I imagine.  Probably true she says.